As the dazzling counters and the A.C splendor beckons from across the glass doors the Indian aam admi is gradually marching towards the latest boon called Reatil Outlets. From Satyendra Satoo to the Italian pasta…from the sadabahar Rupa banyan to the latest Playboy bonanza…a new definition seems to have come up for outdoor shopping.The almighty has been graceful enough to bring this Retail Revolution right next door.
The other day I thought of buying the monthly groceries from my nearest fancy retail outlet instead of the regular kirana shop. Away from the cry and crowd and dirt and exertion there I was in a calm, cool and tip top shopping archade.There were all around smiling ,soft spoken,smart,intelligent looking people searching for stuff in the well kept stacks pushing their thelas alongside. The smart salesmen roamed around helping out the customers in the most pleasant manner.
As I ventured along towards the cosmetics section to buy my monthly dose of toothpaste, body soap. shaving cream n bla bla…I was greeted by a couple of very smart, good looking and hot sales girls…”may I help u sir ???”…came one of them looking passionately at my eyes. ” A shampoo” I replied (as smartly as I could)…”For whom???” she asked… I was in a fix.Now,I needed a shampoo and not an underwear that has to be user specific !!! A little baffled I answered…”For me and my family”. But my cute acquaintance was not impressed. “ We always recommend shampoo s based on the hair texture sir .I suggest that this is perfect for your dry and parched hair” , and she handed me a green bottle studying very closely my flamboyant hair .” I also need a shaving cream and a soap FOR MYSELF” I insisted. She one again started to study my skin with great effort and dedication and only after a detailed analysis pronounced…”You ve rough and dry skin sir…here are some ayurvedic soaps and creams for you. They contain 201 very rare herbs, Almond oil, milk cream, and…&%$>(*>?#~....”(…well I cant remember all the ingredients of my divine soap, but I bet it had all the brightest stuff a soap could ever have….!!!). As I stuffed the ayurvedic miracles in my thela she also came up with a few hair gels and deodorants and after shave lotions and all such stuff which she assured would bring about unbelievable nourishment and lustre to my features. With so many gizmos I could easily open a Men’s Beauty Parlor right in my toilet. But who could say “NO” to such a charming girl. In the meantime very secretly I managed to take a Colgate. I was afraid that if I told her about toothpaste she would want to see my teeth and that could be really embarrassing…!!!....also it was dangerous because she could start suggesting toothpastes with all those of her unusual ayurvedic compositions as if manufactured in the world of Harry Potter. Having crossed my budget by almost a double I dragged my trophies back home.
The next day however I had to make a few more purchases and had a packet to exchange. I couldn’t help but marvel at the most efficient way in which I was stopped at the gate by the security guard. “Stop!!! What do you have there in that packet Sir???” he beamed. “I ve got things to exchange” , I replied. “You have to get a pass from the Security Control Room.” ,he advised. “Security Control Room???” ….it sounded very thrilling. It gave a feeling as if I was about to enter the most secured location in this country. I was reminded of those action packed Alister McLean novels where there would be FBI agents and secret defense installations and spies and stuff… Anyways I made a move and explained the situation to the guard posted there. By God this guy looked at me so hard… I swear that he could give Sherlock Holmes a run for his money. He fixed his ever suspicious eyes on my unfortunate packet and examined it with detail to confirm that it was a Pao Bhaji masala after all and not some deadly Research Developed Xplosive…!!!...being convinced in every aspect at last Sherlock handed me the pass.
As I made the other purchases ,I raced to the counter for the payments and exchange. However the guy in the counter declared the exchange could not be done because of …well God knows what. “I will have to consult my superiors”, he said and called for the floor manager. The consultation went for quite some time as I waited with the patience of Mahatma Gandhi. It seemed to me from the seriousness and determination of their faces that the debate was not about whether my Pao Bhaji masala could be exchanged for a Kasuri Methi , or rather it was a an acute effort to bring about a feasible solution for the financial crisis in the USA .At last the maverick floor manager nodded. The feat could be performed…Hurraaah…I paid the balance of Rs.6 and escaped.
At present the distinguished Retail Outlets hold 5% of the Indian market with an annual turnover of around 12 million bucks. I fear that sooner or later they will have a grasp on the entire nation. We are on the verge of losing the good old kirana shop and the poor sabjiwala clad in his dhoti. A market where there is no A.C or smart sales girls but the warmth and friendliness keep the spirits alive. Where there would be dirt and dust and shouting and action all the time. Where every customer is roaming about with a shopping bag searching for the best bargain. Where u can buy exactly what u need and not some fancy out of the world stuff the costs three times more. And with the friendly shopkeeper insisting…”List de do bhai…saaman main ghar bhijwa dunga. Hisab ka baad me dekh lenge.”
