Colleg Over

I rubbed my ass on benches of my college for three and and half long years.The classes were like long and never ending episodes of Saans Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi....I tormented myself through so many lectures and labs....

But now suddenly all is over...

Colleg days are History Channel now....no more running for the bus every morning...no more dress codes...no more labcoats....no more mid day meals at the mess... following college gals for miles after miles inside the campus....no more imitating loose screw wale professors....my life style for the past few years ve become history now....

I will miss my lovely classroom and my favourite last 3 benches...i will miss the Colleg mess...the gents toilet ( which stands as a testimony to numerous incidents which i shall never forget ) .... and of course i ll miss the sweet gals...

Some foto shotos ~

The last 3 benches....The Best place 2 be in this Solar System...

This is what happens when MONKEYS take control of the lab...

Tigers roaming FREE....

Library ke ander jane ka to kabhi time nahi hua...kam se kum foto dakh lo..!!!

Baba has Made it...!!!

At last the miserable woman ( wearing a strange Locket which looked like a Bronze Medal won in some Inter School High Jump Competetion ) came out of the hall and fumbled up with my prestegious and elegent name "SAYAN BAATA...#$@&%...JEE" ...she frouned...!!!

Immediately i made a move with her...the time had come...the time to prove that i was the 21st century incarnation of Ramkrishna Paramhans...with the ironed shirt,trousers and tie i looked better than he looked in the foto...I made an effort to walk like Amitabh Bacchan ( as he did in Sholey ) , to shake my hands like George Bush ( as he does with Manmohan Uncle ) and to speak like Lord Krishna ( as he did in the Bhagwat Gita )...

My interviewer was an old ,spectacled, large teethed bare papa sort of a person.His face reminded me of Baburao ( Paresh Rawal ) from the film Heera Pheri...He looked at me very suspeciously as if i had forcefully kissed his daughter before coming for the interview...He scanned less through the marks and more through the marksheets to make sure that i had not printed them from my local baniya shop...

The interview lasted for seven long minutes...It was mainly techinical...I gave him a brief introduction to my spectacular capacity of talking immense shit...i said what i knew...i invented what i did not know...i lied about what i thought he did not know...I convinced him that Cognizant Technology Solutions would come to road without my expertise...I made him believe that i was the only person alive in this entire solar system who had a passion for making a difference...

It worked...I am in...God Bless Baburao...God Bless Cognizant... :-)

Ode to the Paapi Pet...

The modern day Engineering student has his "Shaadi ke reharshal" facility provided right in the college campus...The last few days has been placement days...Honhar and Kabil MNC's visited the campus in the search of young and sexy students to give them a break , a big break rather...

The atmosphere changed so much that i failed to recognise my very own adda...How people change their style for the Papi Pet....!!!

Gone were the long hairs , earrings and bangles ( which were adopted from the Mahabharata or maybe from the Rapchick Latin cult )...The Relaxo ka chappal was substituted by the Bata ka joota...People who held Phd in Birdwatching ( tapa tapi ) were suddenly interested in current affairs and GK... The nasheri , gajeri , suttabaaz ,daarubaaz , khaini khor and Guthka khor population could be seen solving the sadabahar Swami R.S Aggarwal baba 's Aptitude...Gals kept upwas on tuesdays for Mata Shakuntala Devi...

The topic of discussions among the last bench lafua party shifted from non-veg porn to the greatest of career related ideologies...People worked hard to mug up a few lines about themselves , their strenghts and weakness , their future goals...Oh God...what a wonderful atmosphere of Self Realisation...i bet Swami Vivekanda would jump out of joy...had he seen all this...

The "Gulu Gulu" mystery...

If you ever happen to come to south India and you do not have any idea about the local language...you are sure to be haunted by the "Gulu Gulu" mystery...
Well Gulu Gulu is just a word to express a whole genre i am unable to express otherwise...Gulu Gulu is the only bell that rings in my mind when i encounter South Indian conversation or script.
Lets speak of the script first...
After loads of research i have been able to find visual differences between Tamil,Telegu and Malayalam...Though they all will appear same to you in the first appearence ( full of Gulu Gulu that is...circles and semicircles and concentric circles) but on careful examination they fail to decieve my divine vision...In Telegu the Gulu Gulus are seperate from each other...the words appear like Gulu Gulu Gulu Gulu....However in Malayalam the Gulus are very closely connected to each other making it GuluGuluGuluGuluGulu...Tamil is a combination of Right Angle and Gulu...and yeah dots also appear in between...
If we come to the speech...These languages have a peculiar tone...there are tips to grasp these tones...these remind me of my High School Chemistry classes where we had to add suffixes and prefixes to name different elements from the same chemical family...In Tamil you just have to add a suffix "a"( "a" as in Argentina ) in every word you speak...So tamil becomes tamila,Road
becomes Roada,Bus becomes Busa,Auto becomes Autoa ,Lefta,Righta, Straighta, Yesa, Noa and so on...The British left India after ruling her for 200 years because they were tired of hearing the same Britisha,Elizabetha,Queena,Londona,Independencea...???
For Telegu you have to add the prefix "u"...like Penu,Pencilu, Riceu,Dalu, Tableu,Chairu,Shirtu, Pantu ,Underwearu and on and on...
Anyways dont bother yourself with this "Gulu Gulu" mystery even if you come to South India sometime...just chill...even if you manage to learn a little bit ( like i ve done ) and say that to somebody , you wont understand his reply in a thousand lifetimes...!!!


Untill next time ... Gulu Gulu...

Spiritualism made easy for u...

What is religion...??? .. have you ever wondered....???

Maybe...Maybe not...here is what i make out of this ...

As far as i make of it ... religion is the purpose of life....
God is the ultimate master of the universe...the creater who has the power of bringing out somethingness out of nothingness...in short someone capable of manufacturing a product without using any raw materials...
Then pujas and offerings are just a set of experiments that give you a feeling of God,his divinity.
The religious books ( panjikas etc.) are like Lab Manuals for performing these experiments...
Temples are like antennas or radars...they send and receive messages ... the means of connection between God and the lessar mortals ( i.e us )...
The priests are like guides ( or agents ) or maybe termed as spiritual service providers...
they take care of your spiritual communication with God...they even perform it on your behalf...
If you achieve something you make an offering...an offering in the glory of God...when God is impressed with you , you get a boon....when it is the other way round...you get a curse...So it is cyclic process...

After all its a round world we are living in...

If you want more enlightnment on this topic...shut down your computer...get a red langot( the underwear of the sadhus )...and head straight for the Himalayas...

...Naksha...

I bunked colleg today coz my stomach was upset....just 2 ease it off i watched a film on my compu n now my stomach is worse...
Naksha is a film that portrays that a sheer will ( of the magnitude of chaak de fatte... sunny deol..) can move even the will of the Almighty...
Well most of u must have read the Mahabharata...the great Indian epic... this is where the brilliant idea of this film took birth...Naksha is its brainchild...
It has shown a scientist who managed to find out a map that leads to the spot where the great Karan ( no no...not Karan Johar...its the one in Mahabharatha) had buried his armour after
the battle at Kurushetra...This guy is murdered by the villian Jackie Shroff ( he has done a bad boy role here ... suits him ) and the map stolen...Thus the great historian loggs off from this world leaving behind two great sons and a wife...
Sunny Deol was lost when he was a child in some kumbh ka mela r something like that...After 20 yrs he is now a forest officer in jeans and sleeveless roaming around in a jeep in the same jungle where his father's katil bad boy Jackie is also searching for Karan's armour...
Vivek Oberoi is apparently Sunny pajji's lost brother who lives with his lost mother....
Now the film starts.....dhan dhan....

Oberoi runs away from his house to find his father's stolen map...and off coarse steal it back from bad boy Jackie......
He reaches the jungle to meet his bachpan ka bichra bhai Sunny pajji , the forest officer in jeans and sleeveless...so he has a brother and a jeep now...
Next he finds his heroine ...ummm....( i forgot her name..but she was hot!!!)...well how she came to the jungle...??? i m not sure...she was drouning in the water...or falling down some cliff...or hanging from some tree...i dont remember...but what is more important is that she was saved by Oberoi baba...and thats important coz now they are girlfriend-boyfriend...
So now Oberoi has a sunny pajji,a jeep and a girl...

Bad boy Jackie is soon spotted in the jungle....and this is where the real dhick-chick dhick-chick begins...with the heroes ( accompanied by a hot heroine) chase the bad boy under the hot sun ,in the jungle of Mahabharata...

The hot pursuit ultimately ends at an ancient temple ( The one where Karan had hidden his armour...)...entering the temple required a lot of permutations and combinations...which of coarse our heroes did brilliantly...but alasssss.....

Bad boy gets the armour...

Now this armour is said to be manufactured by Lord Shiva,Mahadev and Company Divine Ltd. at their production unit in the Himalayas...it had a high amount of rigidity...it is said that once u wear this armour , u become 10 times powerful and no mai ka laal can tear even a single hair from ur...umm...well..

Bad boy Jackie now wears it and has become more powerful than any Complan Boy on this earth...He beats the nuts out of Sunny pajji...who is thrown here and there after each dhissum...
but each time pajji gets up and faces the next dhissum like a true hero of the film...
Suddenly one dhissum hits amul chocklate boy Oberoi...blood rushes out from his lips....he falls down on the ground and cries mummy-mummy dekho na uncle marta hai...( the hot heroine is out of focus right now...may be she had gone to take a piss..!!!)
Looking at his brother's condition Sunny pajji becomes furious( Jab Saabu ko gussa aata hai to kahin jwalamukhi faat ti hai...the same holds true for Sunny pajji )...he can tolerate Mallika Sherawat reading the Geta but his bro beaten down...!!!...NEVER...!!!
Pajji flares up and in one dhissum gets rid of a couple of teeth of bad boy Jackie...He roars and snatches away the armour ... Jackie looks on like a fool....7 minutes of dhissum dhissum continues ( this time however Pajji beating Jackie ) ... and finnaly victory....
As the victorious brothers emerge out of the temple they are greeted by their mother...and of coarse the heroine ( she joins after completing her piss...)....

So guys...ever ever u wanna screw ur time....watch Naksha......

Xcuse me now...i gotta go...until next time...sionara...!!!